Spirit-Led Conflict Resolution with Michael Prestonise
Welcome to the Holy Spirit Untethered. My name is Amber Beals, and it is my job and my mission to allow the Holy Spirit to speak through me, to help demystify who he is, what his role is, and to deeply encourage you to seek a relationship with him. Alright. Let's get started. Hey, guys.
Amber Beels:Welcome back to the Holy Spirit Untethered podcast. My name is Amber, and today, I'm super excited because I have a special guest. I know that I was promising you guys last week a guest, and he said yes. Today, I have a Michael Prestonise. Michael, do you wanna say hi?
Michael Prestonise:Hello, everyone.
Amber Beels:Awesome. Michael is an amazing member of our church. He how long have you been at Heart Church?
Michael Prestonise:Almost three years now.
Amber Beels:Three years. Yeah. Three years. And you found us online. Right?
Amber Beels:Or your wife did?
Michael Prestonise:My wife, God bless her soul, found us online. Yeah.
Amber Beels:Yeah. That's awesome. So you found us online, and then you decided to come in, and you've been an awesome member of our church. I would say a pillar of our church. So thank you so much for coming on to the podcast, for saying yes.
Amber Beels:And I know it can be nerve wracking sometimes, but I know that you are a talker and you love talking. So I think this will be fun. Right?
Michael Prestonise:Yes.
Amber Beels:Awesome. So today, we're gonna be talking about conflict, which, you know, someone like me who's a former people pleaser, conflict was a bad word for me. I did not like conflict, but it happens. Right? It happens.
Amber Beels:Everybody goes through it. You can't avoid it. We live in a fallen world where people have differing opinions. And so conflict happens. And as I was kinda thinking about this episode, I was like, okay.
Amber Beels:Well, how do we include the holy spirit in times of conflict? How do we navigate conflict with the guidance of the holy Spirit. Like, the Holy Spirit is our helper and he's here with us and he does life with us, then he should be able to help us even in times of conflict. Right? So and how do we do that and what does that look like?
Amber Beels:And, Mike, do you well, before we get into it, let's go ahead and pray, and then I'll have you talk a little bit about your background, and then we'll dive into it. Sound good?
Michael Prestonise:Sounds good.
Amber Beels:Awesome. So dear heavenly father, I just thank you so much for this opportunity to have Michael on this podcast, Lord. I just pray holy spirit you would lead this conversation. I pray that it would be led by you, that our words would fall away, Lord, that your message would come through, shine through, Lord. I pray that you would prepare all of our hearts for this message, Lord.
Amber Beels:Whether they're listening to this episode right when it comes out or years down the line, Lord, you are everlasting, and you never change, Lord. So this is this message is everlasting. We thank you for that. We thank you for your faithfulness, Lord. And I just pray a blessing over every single person that's listening to this podcast.
Amber Beels:And I just pray that it will help edify us, Lord, and know more about you and your spirit. We thank you for that. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Michael Prestonise:Amen. Amen.
Amber Beels:Awesome. So Mike, do you wanna talk a little bit about what you do and what your what your background is?
Michael Prestonise:Sure. Well, first of all, many many years ago, I grew up outside of Flint, Michigan, and my father was at the time, my mother was American. So my father was not really educated, he was a construction worker, and my mother was basically a farm girl. And so we grew up pretty poor. In fact, we grew up very poor.
Michael Prestonise:But I learned a long time ago that hard work does pay off. And so I learned a work ethic, they said the Midwestern ethic. And I came to California nineteen seventy one, and I found that because I came from a divorced family, I thought our family was dysfunctional. We had problems. I got to California.
Michael Prestonise:I found everybody I ran into had come from a divorced family. It was really funny, but sad. And I said, oh, really? And they would tell me these horrific stories. And I thought, wow.
Michael Prestonise:I thought my story was bad. Man, this is horrible. So that was kind of a I don't know if you want to call it a relief, or it was a release from all this guilt and all this stuff. Now again, I was born and raised Roman Catholic. And I attended mass, but wasn't really a faithful attender.
Michael Prestonise:I was hit or miss kind of intermittent, I guess you could say is the word. Then I ran into some people out here in California that were Catholic, but Catholic plus, as I would call it, because they seemed to be a little charismatic.
Amber Beels:Okay.
Michael Prestonise:And I went to their their church service a couple times, and I thought, oh, that's interesting. A lot more energy. They were clapping. Was not a Catholic mass. It was more like a what we call Protestant or Protestant kind of service.
Michael Prestonise:And from there, met some other people. And eventually, I met some people that actually started talking about Jesus. And it was foreign to me. Because I had no clue, other than Jesus in the Bible, and we talked in mass, I had no clue what they were talking about. And these people seemed to have a it was a real faith.
Michael Prestonise:I mean, they really did believe the Bible. They read it. They studied it. And they acted and lived that way.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:And you could tell. You could tell they were different in the way they acted. They didn't curse. I don't know if they drank per se. They were just different people.
Michael Prestonise:And that was interesting to me because I didn't accept their offer to accept Christ as my savior and lord that night with them, but it planted a seed. And so then later on, I end up getting married, have a child, leave California, move to Ohio. A Michigan boy moving to Ohio. Interesting dynamic there. And then we have a second child.
Michael Prestonise:Our daughter Giovanna was born in May 1983. And that's when I started really feeling the pressure of being a dad and being being a husband, and I didn't know how to do any of that. And I just kinda said, god, I need help. So I ran into a Nazarene pastor there, pastor Michael Thomas Burns. My name is Michael Thomas, Presnese.
Michael Prestonise:And this guy was red haired, kind of a carrot top, energetic little bunny guy. And he we started talking blah blah blah. And before I left him, he said, Michael, one question. You're you're a good Catholic boy. Right?
Michael Prestonise:I said, yeah. Yes. I am. Not really, but I said I was. He said, well, if you were to die right this minute, are you positive your soul would go straight to heaven?
Michael Prestonise:I said, no. Would you like to be? Just like that. And because of where I was in life, married, two kids, I said, yes. He said, okay.
Michael Prestonise:Do you like Bob Evans? I said, I love Bob Evans, the sausage gravy. There's a Bob Evans restaurant right around the corner. Why don't we meet Wednesday night, let's say 08:00, Bob Evans restaurant, and we'll just talk. I said, sounds great to me.
Michael Prestonise:So I went home, told my wife, who was she was in the convent to be a nun. She was Roman Catholic, she has two kids at home. She wasn't very happy about that. Something like, oh, you're gonna get your spiritual life together in an hour with this guy. I said, well, I'm gonna try.
Michael Prestonise:So I met with pastor Mike, and we talked about family, children, business, life, a lot of different things. And we had a lot in common. And as we were talking, once we got to a certain point, he said, Mike, is there any reason you wouldn't accept Christ as your savior and lord right now? And I thought for a moment, I said, no. So we prayed the sinner's prayer.
Michael Prestonise:And that night at a Bob Evans restaurant at 09:00 at night, I don't know what happened. I closed my eyes, were holding hands, and praying, and I felt like there was a lot of wind, a lot of things happening. And when I woke up, I opened my eyes. I felt like I felt like the weight of the world had just been taken off my shoulders. I felt as free as a little butterfly.
Michael Prestonise:Mhmm. And so he said, well, you're gonna need to tell somebody about that. And I went, oh gosh, my wife. So I did. I went home and told her.
Michael Prestonise:And of course, she wasn't very happy. But a couple days later, we started walking through what had just happened. And I said, Mary Jane, I don't know what to tell you, but something inside me has changed. I mean, everything inside me has changed. I have to change the way I talk, the way I act, the way I think.
Michael Prestonise:And that began our journey of going to a Christian, a Protestant church back in Ohio. And then within a year, we moved back to California. And then that's when I started digging, if you will. Mhmm. Searching the scripture.
Michael Prestonise:And I ran into a guy. I used to work in radio years ago, but not on this side. It was a sales side.
Amber Beels:Got
Michael Prestonise:it. You can tell. I don't have the I don't have the pipes as they say for radio. He gave me a tape of a service he did one time. He was an associate pastor.
Michael Prestonise:And under in his breath, I thought he was praying in Latin. I thought he was like a Catholic, but it wasn't Latin. And I kept listening. I kept listening. Finally, said, Rick, what was that little thing you were doing, that language?
Michael Prestonise:Oh, I was praying in tongues, Mike. I said, what's that? I had no clue what he was talking about. And he said, oh, don't you know the Holy Spirit? I said, no.
Michael Prestonise:I don't. So I got into the scriptures, started reading about the Holy Spirit more and more and more. And finally, this happened to me. I don't know if it's happened to other people, but on a Sunday night in church, I was sitting there. I'd been trying to receive the holy spirit.
Michael Prestonise:I thought I'd be speaking in a different tongue. Nothing happened. And on a Sunday night service, the pastor was talking and said, I wanna stop right now. If any of you wanna receive the baptism of Holy Spirit, please come forward and just open your mouth and start speaking. And I thought, well, okay.
Michael Prestonise:So I went down front, closed my eyes, raised my hands, and all of a sudden this language came out of me. I had no clue what it was. I was speaking in tongues. Mhmm. And from that point forward, I guess I was baptized in the Holy Spirit.
Michael Prestonise:And since that time, I have seen, at least in the body of Christ, Amber, a lot of Christian people don't even acknowledge or recognize the Holy Spirit. And some actually will deny him because he is a person. He's one third of the trinity. Mhmm. And so that's why when you talk about conflict, a lot of the conflict becomes now theological, becomes doctrinal.
Michael Prestonise:And I'm not a theologian. I don't have a master degree in divinity. But by reading the scripture, find a lot of our conflict is because it says in Jeremiah seventeen nine, the heart of man is desperately wicked and deceitful above all things. Who can know it? That's a pretty good starting place.
Michael Prestonise:Right? Mhmm. And so I discovered that many people like to argue. They'll argue a doctrinal point. And they argue it to the point of being angry or upset because I don't agree with them or they don't agree with me.
Michael Prestonise:And I said a long time ago, is it possible that we could agree to disagree agreeably? Well, in the Christian community I've been involved in for the last forty years, the answer is no. People must be dogmatic. They must be adamant. And they are vehement about their passion.
Michael Prestonise:And I can understand that as a business coach and consultant. I'm the same way. But not to the degree of I become belligerent. How does the Holy Spirit help us in a time of conflict? And I think your scripture is first Corinthians two verse seven.
Amber Beels:Yeah. Seven and ten. You wanna you wanna read it? You want me to read Why
Michael Prestonise:don't you read it and then I'll comment.
Amber Beels:Alright. So, again, first Corinthians chapter two verse seven says, but we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory. And then if we skip down to verse 10, it says, but God has revealed them to us through his spirit For the spirit searches all things. Yes. The deep things of God.
Michael Prestonise:So right off the bat, you're talking about what we call God's secret wisdom. Mhmm. And a lot of Christian people have no clue what we're talking about. I don't, still to this day, fully understand that. But I do get the concept that God has a secret wisdom for the followers.
Michael Prestonise:Now, it's one thing if I say I'm a Christian. What does that mean? I go to church. That doesn't make you a Christian. I go in my garage and say, hey, I'm a car.
Michael Prestonise:No. It doesn't work that way. Right. So a Christian is a Christ follower. That means you read his word, you pray, you study, you fellowship with other believers, you worship the Lord in spirit and truth, and you hang out with the family of God.
Michael Prestonise:But then we're given marching orders to go out to the world where we live, where we work, and share our testimony. So that's when we start learning, okay, God. How do I do this? How do I practically go on the street or go in a restaurant or go in the grocery store or the post office? How do I share my testimony?
Michael Prestonise:And so I, years ago, came up with a thing called mister hand questions. Who, what, when, where, why, how much, how many? When you ask a person, for example, what happens to me a lot? I want to learn your story. So I say, Amber, how did you get to California?
Michael Prestonise:Oh, Michael. I'm glad you asked. And then you start telling me your story. Mhmm. And I said, that's interesting.
Michael Prestonise:When when was that? So now, how is the thumb? Mhmm. When was that? Oh.
Michael Prestonise:Oh. And where where did you end up? You ended up in San Diego. Oh, great place to So by mister Hand questions, I'm politely interrogating you, and I'm learning your story. And then we get to a place about, I'll say something like, so did you have any kind of religious background going up?
Michael Prestonise:And you'll say yes or no. I was Catholic. I was this. I was a pagan. Oh, that's interesting.
Michael Prestonise:And I'll pause. And people look at me up. Yes? I'm just curious. You said you didn't have any faith background, and yet you sound like a very intelligent person.
Michael Prestonise:Have you ever actually read the bible? And they look at me, paws, crickets. No, Michael. Well, let me suggest for your consideration you read the Bible starting with the book of John. I think it'll be a very good place to start.
Michael Prestonise:You'll get the fact that Jesus loves us, that God sent Jesus to the world because why? We're rotten to the core. I just told you, Jeremiah seventeen nine, our hearts are wicked, dark, and we are his creation, but we turned away from him. Mhmm. So he had to send his son Jesus to come to live as a human.
Michael Prestonise:So he was both fully God and fully man living on earth, So he would know what we go through. So any temptation that we would have, he would experience that. Any kind of language, any kind of food. Everything human, he experienced. And people look at you like, they don't know this.
Michael Prestonise:They really don't know this at all. You say, well, if you read the book of John, that's the start. And then from there, if you want, I'll meet with you regularly. We can talk about next steps and so on. And so that's how you gradually lead people into a relationship with Christ.
Michael Prestonise:Now, that's one way. There's a thousand ways Mhmm. In knowing the story, I think, is an easy entree. For example, when I first met you and Eric, I suggested you go online and take my assessment, talking to my coaching. Right?
Michael Prestonise:The interplay assessment. And as I recall, it was quite enlightening. We had a good time at the coffee shop, and we walked through that. Yeah. And you learned a lot about yourself and each other.
Michael Prestonise:And from there, you can use that as a launching pad to grow in listening better, clarifying all the things that we do as as coaches. So
Amber Beels:Yeah. One thing and I know that you're a coach and you you help people through times of stress, like where they operate from from times of stress, and then how to to grow from there and recognize where you come from. Right? Was that is that an accurate kind of description?
Michael Prestonise:Yes.
Amber Beels:Okay. So I think that's super important to recognize, like, where you come from or what trauma or what beliefs you came from and how you operate so that you can move forward knowing where you came from, but recognizing, okay. This is, like, what I deal with and my struggles. But even though I have those struggles, like, I need to take responsibility for them even if they weren't my fault. I'm at an age now where I'm like, okay.
Amber Beels:I need to responsibility for it and move forward and pursue truth, which is in scripture. Right? So with conflict, going back to conflict, there's many types of conflict. Right? There's doctrine, conflict, like you were saying, when people misinterpret or have their own interpretations of scripture.
Amber Beels:But then there's also conflict like, don't get along with my husband or my child throws tantrums all the time or is disobedient or my boss hates me or, you know, whatever it is. And we all have filters. Right? So we all have these filters that come from our upbringing. So, like, me being a former people pleaser, a lot of the times, like, I'll filter something that maybe you say to me, and to me, I'm like, oh, he's mad at me.
Amber Beels:But if you say the same thing to Eric, he's like, oh, okay. Like, doesn't faze him because, you know, only child, he has a way different background than I did. Right? And so recognizing that, recognizing that I have these filters that can help one, with conflict to kind of figure out, is there really conflict or do you just think there's conflict? That's one.
Amber Beels:Two, if there is conflict, okay, trying to see what their filters are, where they're coming from, like, Eric, when you did the assessment for us, I was more of a manager director and he was more of a follower. No. What what's the other
Michael Prestonise:He was analyzer.
Amber Beels:Analyzer. That's it. He's more of an analyzer. And so now when we have a quote, unquote conflict, I'm like, okay. I know that he is coming from a place of he's analyzing everything.
Amber Beels:And me, I wanna fire, fire, fire, and he's just aim, aim, aim. Right? And so it's just kinda like, okay. How can we work together? Use both of our strength to come up with the right solution or move forward or move past this conflict.
Amber Beels:Right? And so I think that's super important. So how does the Holy Spirit help us in times of conflict? Well, I would say that the Holy Spirit reveals these things to us. Right?
Amber Beels:He reveals the truth
Michael Prestonise:Yes.
Amber Beels:Of like, maybe our past beliefs. So for me, I had a big self esteem issue that I had grown up from when I was a kid and thinking I wasn't worthy of love. And I didn't think it was a problem. I didn't even think it was, like I'm like, that was so long ago. Like, I'm I'm fine now.
Amber Beels:Right? But the the Lord was like, no. Like, in order for us, for you to accept my love and for us to grow in our relationship, you have to accept my love. And if you don't think you're worthy of my love, then this is where this stops. And it crushed me when I realized that.
Amber Beels:I was like, okay. So I I did some things to help me get through that and I have gotten through that and praise the Lord. Amen. That is the Holy Spirit revealing to me that there's a bigger issue, a bigger stronghold that is holding me back. So what do you think about that, like, the holy spirit revealing strongholds or revealing things in our lives that maybe don't serve us?
Amber Beels:Yes.
Michael Prestonise:Well, first of all, praise the Lord for your freedom. You came to that place where you did accept the finished work on the cross. And I won't forget our talk, I wanna talk about that in a moment. Yeah. Most Christian people have to understand that all of the work has been done on the cross.
Michael Prestonise:Right. When Jesus died, and then he rose again on the third day, It's done. So I think it's in Ephesians two eight nine where it's by grace we have been saved through faith, not anything we did. The thief on the cross didn't go to theology school or read his bible. Right.
Michael Prestonise:He was just on the cross and recognized that Jesus didn't need to be there. Him and his buddy did because they got caught. And so that that springboard, if you will, that launching pad, and what you said is really keen, Amber, for people listening to us. There are people in our listening audience right now that do not believe and don't feel worthy. Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:I didn't feel worthy for years. Why? I was a pagan. I was a sinner. I was drugs, booze, alcohol, jail, chasing women.
Michael Prestonise:I was a pagan. I was holding the gates of hell open for people. And finally, through coming to Christ and learning that that was not the plan God had for my life, that was a major turning point. And I think what you're talking about now with this conflict and conflict resolution, how does the spirit of God come in? First of all, with you and Eric, he identified for you, well, I'm kind of a boom boom boom.
Michael Prestonise:Let's go. Let's go. Let's go get it. And Eric says, no. Wait.
Michael Prestonise:Hold on. Let's analyze this. Let's look at all the facts, all the detail. Let's look at a spreadsheet. Let's look at the technology.
Michael Prestonise:And it's like and Amber's going, no. Let's just do it. And somewhere between that that little bit of conflict, you two said, okay. Hold on. Time out.
Michael Prestonise:Let's figure out a way that we can agree to move forward. And Eric says, well, good. Take a step back and look at all the data again and blah blah. And then that's when you get to that launching pad. It's the same in the Christian faith with people.
Michael Prestonise:Mhmm. For example, if you listen to a pastor, and the pastor's talking about how we are supposed to be led by the spirit. What does that mean, led by the spirit? It's a good question. At first, I did not know what that meant because I didn't know the spirit.
Amber Beels:Right.
Michael Prestonise:And then I heard heard a teaching about how our God is a triune God, father, son, holy spirit. And he is part of the trinity. Well, when you understand that when and I was gonna read this. This is in John 14, and you get down to verse 26. Listen carefully.
Michael Prestonise:26 says, but the counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the father will send in my name will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Alright? So that means when Jesus leaves planet Earth, he goes to heaven. Who takes his place? Oh, he sent the Holy Spirit.
Michael Prestonise:So God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. He sent the Holy Spirit in his place. Okay? And if you think about that for a moment, that's a powerful for us, a powerful help. He is the paraclete, the one who comes alongside us, who sticks closer than a brother.
Michael Prestonise:And many times, I'll be praying, holy spirit, I need your help. I don't understand this. Pause, crickets, wait. The scripture in Isaiah forty thirty one, they that wait upon the Lord shall what? They'll renew their strength.
Michael Prestonise:Mhmm. So we have to wait. It's not my strong suit. I'm not a waiter. I'm not
Amber Beels:I don't think it's many people's strong suit. That's true.
Michael Prestonise:I I I agree with that. In fact, the other day somebody said to me in a kind of a coaching paradigm, coach Mike, I think we have a communication problem. I said, well, if I can take polite umbrage with that, I disagree. We don't have a communication problem. We have a listening problem.
Michael Prestonise:Oh. I said, most men, some women, but most men can hear seven words and boom, they're right to solution. And the woman says, I I wasn't even finished. And that was no. That was wrong.
Michael Prestonise:And a lot of people in the Christian faith kind of get what they call knee jerk reactions. They'll hear something and go, oh, no. I I disagree with that. You haven't let me finish. I wasn't even at the end of my statement yet or my story.
Michael Prestonise:Yeah. And when we can help people to be patient, I think it's in first Corinthians 10 or first Corinthians 13. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love doesn't write down all these keep a record of all the wrong.
Michael Prestonise:Right. When you learn that, and I'm still learning that, Amber. I'm 73 years old. You learn patience. Patience is waiting.
Michael Prestonise:Patience is waiting on the spirit of God to give you that response. And when people see that you take a step back in a conflict situation, they can see that you're a person of peaceful resolution.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:They don't see us getting all amped up and jacked. And our people are of are of Italian descent. They're not known for being quiet and shy. Oh, yeah. Sure am I.
Michael Prestonise:No. They yell and spit. It's it's wonderful, but it's a lot of chaos. Yeah. And the person who calms that down.
Michael Prestonise:And that's what the spirit of God does. You know? He brings us that peace, that that calm in the midst of a storm.
Amber Beels:Right.
Michael Prestonise:And people say, well, how can you be so calm? Blah blah blah blah blah. Well, because I'm waiting on the Lord for an answer. I'm not waiting on man.
Amber Beels:Right.
Michael Prestonise:What happens when I wait on man? More conflict. More anger. More disagreement. More dogmatic blah blah blah blah blah.
Michael Prestonise:And I think that's where you shine because as you're teaching people about the Holy Spirit, you're also showing them. So it's not just teaching, it's showing. Yeah. There's an expression we say, well, he sure can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk? Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:It's true. Good question.
Amber Beels:Yeah. And that was actually my next question, like, how does the Holy Spirit use conflict to transform us to be more like Jesus? Because the Holy Spirit, one of his goals is he has to remind us what Jesus, you know, taught, but it's also transformation. It's conviction in a way that allows us to become more like Jesus, to become more righteous, not from a place of earning, but a place of I love the Lord and I wanna serve him, help me be more like the person you designed me to be, which is to be more like Jesus rather than this person that I've become over the years living in this world. Right?
Amber Beels:And you had mentioned that the Holy Spirit uses conflict to teach us patience. Right? Teach us how to respond instead of react to a situation waiting on the lord. I know that patience is one of those things that when you ask for it, you have to be careful and, you know, expect that the lord's gonna put you through conflict or trials or whatever it is to show you how to be patient rather than teach you. Right?
Amber Beels:He's he's making you go through it and practice it, and that's kinda how the Holy Spirit teaches. Right? That's how he teaches is putting us through it. Right?
Michael Prestonise:Yes. I I think about in Romans 12, if you wanna turn there. Yep. 12 verse two, it says, do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world. Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:Can you stop right there? What is the pattern of this world? He described it perfectly. Conflict, disagreement, arguing, cursing, yelling, swearing, spitting. That's the pattern of this world.
Michael Prestonise:Paulson, don't be conformed or don't be squeezed into that mold. But do what? He says, but be transformed by what? By the renewing of your mind. Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:How do I renew my mind? Coach Mike, well, that's a good question. You have to read your Bible. You have to pray. And you have to ask the Holy Spirit, please renew my mind.
Michael Prestonise:Help me think on the things of God. Help me think on a way that I can help somebody. Mhmm. Here's how I view it, for example. I have a friend of mine that says asked me the other day.
Michael Prestonise:So I'm like, can I borrow some money from you? I said, well, you can. It depends on a couple of things. What do you need the money for?
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:I didn't expect him to say drugs or gambling or Sure. Expect him to say I need groceries or whatever.
Amber Beels:Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:And it was I need groceries. Now, I've been down this road with him before. And I said, okay. And I let him have the money. So some people will say, well, how come you didn't?
Michael Prestonise:Where does Jesus tell the guy? How come you didn't share your testimony? I did. I just did. Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:I gave a cup of cold water. I don't have to say anymore.
Amber Beels:Right.
Michael Prestonise:And I think a lot of times, and I talk about from the Christian paradigm, the Christian perspective, people think they have to always be talking about John three sixteen. For God so loved the world. Easy, Buckle. Calm down. Calm down.
Michael Prestonise:If you just let your light shine, if you just help people, they're gonna see that you're different. They're gonna know. And I think about my neighbor because we've had a lot of talks. He is of Jewish background. Actually, none really.
Michael Prestonise:He's more, I would say, just kind of backslidden. And I've talked about Jesus quite a bit. I've talked about church. I've invited him. Never never says yes.
Michael Prestonise:Not I'm not gonna stop. Okay? And one day, when I'm gone, and people will be talking to Dave about me. So, Mike, yeah. Let's talk about Jesus.
Michael Prestonise:Let's talk about church. Okay. Why? I'm trying to plant a seed in that hard soil. I'm trying to water it.
Michael Prestonise:I'm trying to get one seed in there, water it, get a little fertilizer, maybe some fruit will grow. Yeah. It talks about Jesus talks a lot about fruit. When you when we bear fruit, if we or he is the vine and we're the branches. If we abide in him, if we live in him.
Michael Prestonise:And what is the word of God? What did John say in the beginning? Go back to John one. This is interesting how we're talking about this, Amber. Thank you for this opportunity, by the way.
Amber Beels:Yeah. Of course. Thank you so much for coming on.
Michael Prestonise:Wow. I hope I hope the audience is enjoying this.
Amber Beels:Yeah. I am.
Michael Prestonise:Well, good. So John one one, it says, in the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him, all things were made. Without him, nothing was made that has been made.
Michael Prestonise:In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. Okay. Stop right there. We live in a very dark, you said it, fallen world.
Michael Prestonise:Why? Because man does not want to obey 10 commandments God. Man wants to obey man. And I said Jeremiah 79, the heart of man, the very heart of man, the I forget how the Hebrews describe it, like the bowels, the very where everything happens, the center of all the activity Mhmm. Is it's evil.
Michael Prestonise:It's wicked. It's deceitful. And people just can't accept that.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:Well, Mike, are you calling me a liar? No. I'm I'm not. I don't call people liars. But the word of God says your heart is deceitful, so how do you reconcile that?
Amber Beels:Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:Paws. Crickets. And I love I love living in that. Because as a coach, I don't mind dysfunction. I don't.
Michael Prestonise:Yeah. You said something a minute ago about you recognized that you and Eric look at things differently, different paradigm, different perspective, different world view. Well, when you recognize that and then you have the tools to respond, you don't have to respond hastily or angrily. You well, your husband will say, why aren't you listening to me? He says, I am, dear.
Michael Prestonise:But I'm not agreeing with you. There's a difference. Okay? I was married forty one and a half years, so I I learned a few things. But I think the thing the Holy Spirit wants to teach us is, and I'll couch this in I'm still learning it.
Michael Prestonise:Okay? A patience that says listen longer. I've been teaching men, listen longer. Don't talk. Listen longer.
Michael Prestonise:Let the whole story come out. And then digest what was said, what you heard. And a lot of times, they use a thing called reflective feedback. Mhmm. Say, Amber, so what I heard you say just then was yada yada yada blah blah.
Michael Prestonise:Is that correct? Yes. Oh, okay. So good. I got it.
Michael Prestonise:Or you'll say, no, Michael. I didn't say that. I said this. Oh. Oh, thanks for clarifying.
Michael Prestonise:That's what the spirit of God does. He clarifies. He clarifies so that we, when we respond to people, they say, yeah, that makes sense.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:Not, oh, you're a loony bin or you're out of your mind. Well, I may be that, but that's not the point. So to your point about this this idea of God bringing people to us, that's why God will bring us what I call stinkers, you know.
Amber Beels:A stinker.
Michael Prestonise:A lot of stinkers. And they have very colorful language, and they have a lot of stories that really aren't for our ears. And we have to somehow figure a way to move the conversation back to more godly Yeah. More holy. And that's a challenge.
Amber Beels:Yeah. Definitely can be for sure. Yeah. So I wanna ask you, how do you personally navigate conflict, especially when you're emotionally involved? Because we we're emotional beings.
Amber Beels:Right? The Lord created us to be emotional. I believe the Holy Spirit is the most emotional member of the Trinity. Right? And so emotions are good and they have purpose for sure.
Amber Beels:But how do we navigate conflict when we have those big emotions and want to just knee jerk react? Like, how do you personally do that?
Michael Prestonise:Well, I gotta admit to your audience and confess sometimes I blow it.
Amber Beels:Well, you're Cuban. That's okay.
Michael Prestonise:Sorry about that, guys. Most of the time, what I try to do, I try to take the posture that I'm hearing someone either angry or spitting or cursing or they're ticked off or they're firing off at me.
Amber Beels:Mhmm. Personally. Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:Personally. My first reaction is, this is not about me, it's about them. Mhmm. Because a lot of times people will project. Well, I think you're a stupid idiot and you're a moron.
Michael Prestonise:You're blah blah blah. You're a phony baloney. That's probably more self description than it is me. Mhmm. I don't say that because that would just put gas on the fire.
Amber Beels:Sure.
Michael Prestonise:But I say, interesting. So let me see if I understand what I just heard you say. I heard you call me these names in this order, yada yada yada, mama. Is that correct? Yes.
Michael Prestonise:And you believe those all to be true? Of course. I wouldn't have said otherwise. Why? Don't you agree?
Michael Prestonise:Well, I'm glad you asked me that. Actually, I don't. I don't agree with that. I agree I might have been that years ago before I met the Lord. I would agree with that, sure.
Michael Prestonise:But I'm not that anymore. At least, I'm trying to be led by the spirit of God to not be that way. Mhmm. And that's why I'm not responding hastily to you or knee jerk or with anger. Because what I heard you say sounds more like you're in pain.
Michael Prestonise:It's kinda like a bear who has a thorn in its paw. Mhmm. That's what I'm hearing you say.
Amber Beels:Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:Well then, it slows down. Because now that's truth. John eight thirty two, you'll know the truth and the truth will what? Set you free. Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:So our job is to be truth tellers. But sometimes, in my words again, if I'm dealing with a stinker or somebody who's really ticked off, or maybe they're not Christian or claim they are, whatever. I had a Christian the other day. We were talking about something, and I mentioned one of the networks. I won't mention it on the air.
Michael Prestonise:And he gave me the f bomb. He dropped an f bomb on me in front of all kinds of people. And I just looked at him. Didn't say a word. I just looked at him In about five seconds, wow.
Michael Prestonise:I didn't mean that. Well, when people say things, they mean it. Okay? So that was kind of awkward and embarrassing.
Amber Beels:Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:But he was angry because I was making a comment about something that he agreed with that I didn't. And same thing with conflict resolution. When you're dealing with people and there are books. I'm not a big subscriber to some of the books out there because they're not biblically based.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:But when you're dealing with people that is intense conflict, and I'm personally involved. This happened to me just recently. It's called names and was told I was this and that, and I just said nothing. I said nothing. I said, Lord, you're my protector.
Michael Prestonise:You're my guard. You're my shield. I think the scripture talks about when the enemy comes in like a flood, the spirit of God will rise up a standard against that. A wall. A barrier.
Michael Prestonise:I like what we said earlier about filters. Yeah. I've been saying for years, we all have filters. Sometimes our filters get clogged. The world, the stuff.
Michael Prestonise:And you've got to just take them on either a garden hose or get a new one. And part of my work with people working through assessments and helping them understand the different styles, behavior styles, and where they go under stress, it helps them a lot. It's helped you guys a lot.
Amber Beels:Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:So that's how I personally respond to it. I try to pull way back. I try to be very quiet, very patient. I'm waiting. And when you wait, for men at least and maybe some women, waiting is not my strong suit.
Michael Prestonise:It's not my beloved.
Amber Beels:Yeah. One way that I've learned to kinda look at it is it's not their responsibility, the person that's maybe attacking me. It's not their responsibility person that's maybe attacking me. It's not their responsibility on how I feel. It's my responsibility.
Amber Beels:My emotions are my responsibility, and they're telling me their truth maybe out of anger. Maybe this is this is how they feel. Right? And this is how I've made them feel whether it wasn't my intention or not. And so for me, my problem in the past has been to take it and take it personally and then be quiet and then go suffer in silence.
Amber Beels:Right? That's what I would do. And I have done that since a kid. Like, just take it, internalize it, and then I take it with me. I don't mean to, but I carry it.
Amber Beels:Right? And so we're not meant to carry those things because their emotions are not my responsibility either. Only my emotions are my responsibility. And so sometimes emotions are incorrect. Right?
Amber Beels:They don't always reflect reality. That's just Right. Me expressing how I feel in that moment from that statement or whatever. And so the scripture is supposed to be our filter. It's our ultimate filter of emotions.
Amber Beels:So and I've and I'm still learning this. I'm not perfect at it. But if I feel big feelings about something, then I'm like, okay, Lord. This is how I feel about this situation. Holy Spirit, please reveal to me truth how I'm supposed to be feeling about this situation.
Amber Beels:And maybe reveal to me their emotion, like what they're going through so that I can be more empathetic and not take it so personally because it's not attacking me. They're just expressing their feelings.
Michael Prestonise:Right. Well, part of your answer an answer for you, Amber, if you go to Galatians chapter five
Amber Beels:Okay.
Michael Prestonise:And we get down to about verse 19
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:And there's a subheading of my bible says life by the spirit. Let's go back to 16. So Galatians five verse 16.
Amber Beels:Okay. Go ahead and read it.
Michael Prestonise:Okay. It says, so I say live by the spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the spirit, and the spirit was contrary to the sinful nature. Oh, interesting. They are in, to use your word, they are in conflict with each other.
Michael Prestonise:You do not do what you want, but if you are led by the spirit, you are not under law. Okay. Now listen carefully. Here's a here's a list of the acts of the sinful nature. And Paul says they're obvious.
Michael Prestonise:Sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage Mhmm. Selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy, drunkenness, orgies and the like. And then you go on to verse 22. He said, but but the fruit of the spirit is what? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.
Michael Prestonise:Against such things, there's no law. So as a Christian, as a Christ follower, when you say, well, Mike, how do I know when those scriptures apply? Well, good question. You should be reading your bible and praying every day and asking the Lord. Say, Lord, help me to understand what is happening here.
Michael Prestonise:The other day, and I don't think it was necessarily intentional, but somebody said something to me. I could have taken it personally, but I didn't. Because they just kind of blew off some steam. I didn't say anything. They didn't say anything.
Michael Prestonise:And it just died a very natural death. It was like one of those, that was a strange comment. Eyes crossed and wrinkled brow. And then when you don't respond, that's the best response. Because that's that's self control.
Amber Beels:Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:And I my prayer is for a lot of our Christian brothers and sisters, employ more self control and less more self blah. Blah. That's not gonna help anybody. No. Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:Does that answer your question?
Amber Beels:Yeah. Okay. No. It's good. Alright.
Amber Beels:So my next question is, how can we as the body of Christ help others who may be experiencing conflict in their lives? So we're not experiencing the conflict, but we see our brothers and sisters experiencing conflict. How can we help them? Because we're supposed to iron sharp sharpens iron. Right?
Amber Beels:We're supposed to celebrate with each other and weep with each other. How do we help or how can we partner with the Holy Spirit to help that person either resolve that conflict or get through it or give them wisdom?
Michael Prestonise:Well, if you wanna stay in Galatians chapter five verse one, it says, it is for freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Mhmm. And I think a lot of times, Christian people, you talked about earlier, Amber, you didn't feel like you were worthy. You didn't understand what this free gift was.
Michael Prestonise:And well, how can I do that? And whether you're a young man, young woman, whatever's going on in your life, your family, growing up, puberty, sex, drugs, whatever that happens, you get this world view. This this filter gets very clogged very quickly. It's my fault. I'm not worthy.
Michael Prestonise:I deserve punishment. I'm no good. And you build an entire theme park around that.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:Reference to Legoland, because that's what they are. They're little building blocks. You snap, snap, snap, and you build this thing. When you understand the weight in John ten ten, it says the thief has come to what? Kill, steal, destroy.
Michael Prestonise:Mhmm. That's his tripod. Steal, kill, destroy. Woah. Well, that's everything that is against everything we believe.
Michael Prestonise:Jesus said, but but I've come to give you life and give it to the fuller or more abundantly. So we're called to live an abundant life. And a lot of Christian people want to argue about, well, means you're you're one of those name it claim it guys. I didn't say that. I said abundant life.
Michael Prestonise:Well, then you stop. Mister Hand question. So what do you how do you define abundant life? And let them tell you. And they have no clue because their view is distorted.
Michael Prestonise:Why? Because they have junk in their life and their filter's clogged and they got all kinds of things going on and they're full of conflict. And no one has come alongside them to say, Amber, how can I pray for you? Well, brother Mike and they started. Oh, my god.
Michael Prestonise:You've opened a floodgate. Well, because that's tapping into an emotional well that maybe needs a little balm of Gilead, a little petroleum jelly, a healing. Oh, I need healing. Well, yeah. You must have some open wounds.
Michael Prestonise:A lot of Christian people and non Christians have open wounds. Why? Because they think that it's me and you against the world. Right? Me and you against the world.
Michael Prestonise:What's the the song that you sang years ago? It's not you and me against the world. It's me and the Holy Spirit and the whole body of Christ and the faith of the saints for you against the world. So I have all this light against this darkness. What happens when you go in a dark room, turn light on?
Michael Prestonise:The darkness is gone. Right. And we're supposed to be light bearers. We people should see us as being people. Jesus said we are salt and light.
Michael Prestonise:Okay. Go be salt and light. Stop being a whatever that word is, you feel it. Does that answer your question?
Amber Beels:Yeah. No. I think I think that's really good. And, you know, I think the Holy Spirit also comes into that for discernment. So seeing a person's situation and because you're not emotionally invested or maybe you are, but a lot of the times if you're not involved, you can be not emotionally invested, right, and have a more objective view of the situation, you that allows the Holy Spirit to reveal to you certain things about that situation that maybe is a blind spot for them.
Amber Beels:And so I feel like in order to really hear from the Holy Spirit or allow him to reveal those deep secrets or to give you wisdom, you have to be a little bit unbiased. I know that for me, lot of the times, if I'm seeking wisdom or I have a big decision to make, I have to be in a place of I don't care what the outcome is. I just want to be within the will of the Lord. I just want to please him and make sure that I'm in alignment with what he wants for me. But it takes a little bit of intentionality to get to that point because, again, we are emotional and there's biases and I want a certain outcome.
Amber Beels:And just recently, when I was telling you earlier before we started recording about Eric stepping away from our business, I was very biased in that I did not want him to pursue his dad's business. For the longest time, for years, he would bring it up, and I'm like, no. We're supposed to do this together. Like, what are you what are you talking about? Like, stop it.
Amber Beels:Like, you know, to thing. And so, like, I've always had that bias. Right? And so this last time when we went through the fast of, like, okay. Let's really make a decision and stick with it.
Amber Beels:Let our yes be yes and our no be no and get the the will of the Lord and follow it. And so I had to personally be like, okay. I know we've spent all this time on this business. We've worked together for years on this, blood, sweat, tears into it, but it doesn't matter. Because if the Lord's not in it, he's not gonna bless it.
Amber Beels:So what what's the point? Right? So I'm like, okay, Lord. It doesn't matter. I just wanna be in alignment with you and make sure that we are going in the direction that you want us to go because I know you'll bless that, and that's all that matters and bringing myself to a posture of, like, I just wanna follow you.
Amber Beels:That's all I want. And so finally, when I finally got to that place, which took years to get there, the Lord revealed to Eric to, you know, pursue his dad's business. And I would I had a peace about it. I was like, you know what? That's fine.
Amber Beels:And I asked the Lord for confirmation because we always do, you know, joint decision together, husband and wife, and so we try to get confirmation. And the Lord told me, let him lead. Just let him lead and trust me. And I'm like, okay. And that has been my prayer for the last, like, couple years that Eric would lead, that he would be the spiritual leader of our our home because I always felt like I filled that role because or he felt like I filled it because he felt that I was further along in my journey or whatever.
Amber Beels:And that's not a weight that I'm supposed to carry. That's his weight. Right? And so that's always been my prayer. And so now he's finally taken and stepping into that role and life is so much easier because we're actually living in a place where the Lord wants us to be and we're in the roles that we're supposed to be in and he's leading and I'm following and life has been great.
Amber Beels:And he's blessing us because of it and blessing us very quickly because of it. And so it's been really, really great to be able to allow that Holy Spirit to just give us that discernment and then strip us away of the biases so that during that conflict, we were able to make the right decision.
Michael Prestonise:Well, I applaud you guys both. I watched you and it's obvious that you guys are not only a great team, but in that relinquishment, if you will Mhmm. You're saying that he is the priest of the home.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:He's the spiritual leader. But you are a great support to him. And I think that by you confessing or admitting, yeah, I've had some problems with that. Have to let go. When we let go pastor was teaching one night on a Wednesday night bible study.
Michael Prestonise:He had the keys to the car in his hand, and he had them held palms. The keys were sitting in his palm. And he said, if I give this to the Lord, I can take the keys back and close my palm. Then he turned his palms over and said, when I do that, he lifted his hands and keys flew across the room. He said, I'm letting go.
Michael Prestonise:Mhmm. That was a great visual. It really was a great visual because it means we have to literally let go and let God. I was thinking about a couple scriptures as you were talking. You've triggered me a lot.
Michael Prestonise:When Paul was speaking in Athens, and this is in Acts chapter 17.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:He was in Athens, and he was at the Areopagus. And he's talking to all these Greeks, these guys who always wanna hear all the things that are going on. And he could say to them, in essence, I see that in very many ways you people are basically kind of spiritual. Okay? But let me bring to you who you're trying to find, and that is Jesus who who's been crucified and risen from the dead.
Michael Prestonise:A lot of the Greeks laughed, and who this valor? Blah blah. But a few people came to Paul and said, hey. Tell me more. And he led them to Christ.
Michael Prestonise:The other one is, if you wanna go back to Matthew, here's and I think a lot of people know the scriptures, so it's not new, but it's gonna be fresh for today, fresh manna.
Amber Beels:Sure.
Michael Prestonise:Matthew chapter 11 verse 28 says, come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Stop right there. Mhmm. How many people do we know, Amber, that are burdened? They're carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders so we can see it.
Michael Prestonise:We look at them and go, let go. Toss that burden off. You you can't do it. They're they're not only burdened, but they're they're tired. The word weary means I'm just bone tired.
Michael Prestonise:Why? Because you're doing all the work. Let God. You were you said earlier, I'm not I'm not called to carry this burden. No.
Michael Prestonise:It says he says to cast all of our cares on him. Why? Because he cares for us. Right. So when you read further, it says, take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Michael Prestonise:For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Mhmm. Wow. Okay. I'm gonna claim that scripture for mister Mike.
Michael Prestonise:Amber says I'm claiming that for Amber.
Amber Beels:Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:And Christian people, claim it for yourself.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:So what you're talking about, a lot of times when you get into a place of conflict or there's chaos or there's a lot of confusion, Who is the author of confusion? Well, that's Satan. Mhmm. He's the father of all lies.
Amber Beels:Right.
Michael Prestonise:He's the accuser of the brethren. Guys, I'm not saying Satan's behind every bush. I'm not saying that. But he's in a lot of bushes and a lot of bushes in your life. Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:So the best thing you can do is get your nose in the book, my words, not yours. Read the word, believe the word, act on the word, and follow the spirit of God. Mhmm.
Amber Beels:No. Super good. And you need the spirit of God to be able to read the word. Amen. He's the one that makes it living.
Amber Beels:Right? So because beforehand, before I went through the holy spirit, an introduction by John Brevere, that class, I tried to read scripture, and it was very it was very difficult because it was just kinda like me trying to do it because it's the right thing to do. Right? And so once I had the baptism of the Holy Spirit, once I really truly understood what his role was, you know, I asked him and I still do every day. I ask him, please reveal to me the character of God.
Amber Beels:Reveal to me your will in the scripture today. And I'm not necessarily looking for me in the scripture because we're not supposed to find ourselves or, you know, some helpful nuggets for whatever situation we're in right now. It's the purpose is to know the Lord and to know his character, to know his heart, and, that's always my prayer. And ever since then, it's been a lot easier and I look forward to it every morning. You know, I look forward to reading scripture.
Amber Beels:It shouldn't be, you know, a chore or something that you just check off. It should be something that you look forward to. And if you skip a couple days because life happens, that's okay. You know, the Lord's not gonna, you know, whip you because you didn't do it. Like, he as long as your heart is in the right place, your heart posture is there, he knows life happens.
Amber Beels:You'll be back in it tomorrow, you know, because that's where your desire is. So the last question that I had was, how can the Holy Spirit use conflict for good? Because conflict, you know, it's uncomfortable. People don't like it. I don't like it.
Amber Beels:But it happens and scripture says that, you know, what the enemy meant for evil, the Lord's gonna use it for good. So how can the Holy Spirit use conflict for good in our lives or the the good in others other people's lives?
Michael Prestonise:Well, I think the first one of the first scriptures that came to mind was Proverbs three, five, and six, where it says, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding. Mhmm. But in all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will direct your path. Say, oh, brother Mike, that's good. Everybody knows Proverbs three, five, and six.
Michael Prestonise:Well, they may know it. Now, heed
Amber Beels:it. Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:I think one of the things that happens when God brings he'll put us in conflict situations on purpose. Why? We're his kids. He wants us to shine. He wants us to bring his light to that darkness.
Michael Prestonise:He wants us to bring truth to that lie.
Amber Beels:Yeah.
Michael Prestonise:Well, brother Mike, I'm not called evangelism. Oh, shut up. You know, we're all called evangelism. We're all called to the move of the spirit of God in people's lives. So one way that God uses conflict in my life is he says, I want you to be aware, Michael.
Michael Prestonise:I'm gonna bring you some people, and they're gonna be your words, not mine, stinkers. I love them. They're my children, but they're a little wayward. And I want you to politely, Michael, politely, softly, not my strong suits necessarily, kind of help them. And so you help them by what?
Michael Prestonise:Well, he gave me mister Hand questions. So Amber, it looks like something's going on. How how are you doing? Well, brother Mike, have you got a minute? I love the I say, yes.
Michael Prestonise:I do. Actually, go ahead. And you kind of unburden yourself. Well, I have this issue and blah blah blah blah blah. Oh, okay.
Michael Prestonise:And what have you done to date? Well, that's where I'm kinda stuck. I haven't done anything yet. I'm praying, I'm asking the Lord, blah blah blah. Okay.
Michael Prestonise:So you're waiting you're in a waiting posture. Okay. What would be win win? And people say, well, brother Mike, is that biblical? Be patient.
Michael Prestonise:Listen to the whole story. Okay? The answer is yes. What would be win win? What do you mean?
Michael Prestonise:No. Can't answer a question to question. And my lawyer does that. What would be win win for you in this situation? And you're probably close to that person.
Michael Prestonise:And they started thinking. And you're watching the wheels turn. You know, put your finger over your lip. I'm not talking. I'm watching.
Michael Prestonise:I'm listening because I wanna talk. I wanna share. I have an answer. No. I don't yet.
Michael Prestonise:And this just happened the other day. Was telling what was funny. What would be win win? No. That's my question.
Michael Prestonise:I asked you. Ken asked me back. What would be win win? I don't know. I said, good.
Michael Prestonise:That's an honest answer. You don't know yet. Pray about what you think would be win win. I haven't heard back yet from them. I will.
Michael Prestonise:I'll report back to you. So I didn't have to answer that. The spirit of God is using me to help them in their conflict.
Amber Beels:Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:How can he bring that to good? I want you pastor had a he had a little sign on his desk that said, think dot dot dot and surprise us all. I thought, that's kind of rude, isn't it? Well, brother, my okay. Okay.
Michael Prestonise:It's your sign, not mine. But when we have conflict in our life, God says, I want you to be the facilitator of peace. You're a peace facilitator. You're the one bringing my spirit, my joy, my peace, my love, all the fruit of the spirit into that situation because you've been brought into it. Mhmm.
Michael Prestonise:Now, let's take an example where maybe someone is in conflict with me. This happened recently to me. People were in conflict with me. I was called a hypocrite. I was called names.
Michael Prestonise:And I said, you may have even heard me say this. Well, no. That's not true. Now again, where are we going with this? I'm like, we just talked about this.
Michael Prestonise:Of course. Because it's circular. Life is kinda like this. What the circle of life in the whatever that is. I'm maybe.
Michael Prestonise:Maybe that's true. I don't know. I'm not real big on movies per se. But the idea that if I'm involved in a conflict in a really heavy situation, and it's intense, and people are firing off, and they're calling names, and pointing fingers, and labeling, I'm not going to react. Lord, help me.
Michael Prestonise:Holy Spirit, help me. I'm not in fact, I'm gonna go into my shell. I won't say a word. I'll put my finger to my lip and start praying. I'm praying in the spirit.
Michael Prestonise:Keep me quiet. Mhmm. Because my flesh wants to just lash out and whack you across the head with a two by four. That's not being led by the spirit. A different spirit.
Amber Beels:Sure.
Michael Prestonise:And in that in that instance, what the good of that is is you're going into your faith, and you're saying, I need to dig deep in my well of faith because I have been here before. I recognize the enemy's little ploys. These are one of his little tricks. Right? And I'm not gonna bite.
Michael Prestonise:I tell people, if Satan is okay. If he's selling, I'm not buying. Don't buy the lies. Because Satan's always lying. Why?
Michael Prestonise:He's the father of all lies. Mhmm. And he is the author. I like that. He's the author of confusion.
Amber Beels:Right.
Michael Prestonise:Well, you recognize that, you go, wait a minute. That's the exact opposite of God. Well, duh. So this idea of God using conflict for good, I think personally, and collectively as the body of Christ, we're to be the salt, the light, the back rub. We're to be the pat on the head, the holding of the hand, the prayer.
Michael Prestonise:We're supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus. That's a great time to do it. Mhmm. That's my response.
Amber Beels:Yeah. No. That's good. I think also the Holy Spirit can use conflict for good by teaching us something. Right?
Amber Beels:Everything's a teaching moment.
Michael Prestonise:Yes.
Amber Beels:I know in a recent conflict that I was in, somebody had a question about discernment because they're so emotionally invested. They didn't know how to discern. And when you're so emotional and biased over something, it can be hard to allow the Holy Spirit to discern what truth is and what the lies are and who to believe and what side to be on, whatever. And for me, I I don't believe there's sides. There's truth.
Amber Beels:Right? And so there and there's different perspectives, people's different perspectives because again, we all have filters. Right? And so trying to get as many perspectives so that you can allow the Holy Spirit to ask the right questions or ask you the right questions so you can discern what the truth is and try not to be so emotionally invested and and ask yourself questions. That's how I discern is asking question yeah.
Amber Beels:Exactly. But some of the other questions are, like, would this person normally do this? What if this person said that and it was true, did their actions reflect what they said? No. Okay.
Amber Beels:Does this person based on their previous actions did they don't mind conflict. Right? This person doesn't mind conflict. And if they truly believe this thing about you, don't you think they would confront you about it? But they never did.
Amber Beels:Well, that's true. Okay. So it's kinda like just teaching people how to, like, okay. How do I discern the Lord gave us brains, right, to think and ask the right questions and be like, okay. Does this line up with the care this person's character?
Amber Beels:I've known this person for a long time. Does this match what they would actually do? No. Okay. It does, what's the motivation behind it?
Amber Beels:If this is not true, what is the motivation behind the lie? Oh, okay. That makes more sense than believing this lie about this person who doesn't match that character. Right? So I think the Lord can use conflict to teach us how to discern, how to have peace in a situation and conflict and approach it in a way that's God honoring and still getting the truth.
Amber Beels:Right? Because a lot of the times, it takes practice to do that. People can talk to you and preach at you all day long, but unless you use it, unless you actively do it with the Holy Spirit, you're not gonna know what to do. Right?
Michael Prestonise:Exactly.
Amber Beels:So yeah. Well, this was really good. Is there anything that we didn't touch on about conflict that you wanted to mention?
Michael Prestonise:Well, perhaps for another time.
Amber Beels:For another time. Alright. Part two. Part two. Well, thank you so much, Mike, for for coming on and and sharing and, you know, sharing your wisdom and how the holy spirit how you partner with the holy spirit.
Amber Beels:I truly see you live a spirit led life, and it's something that, you know, I'm always trying to do. I'm always trying to, you know, allow the holy spirit to lead. Sometimes it's easier to do, and sometimes it's not. So it's always an intentional thing that we have to die to ourselves, die to our flesh every day, and and allow him to lead. And some days we're better at it than others, but at least the heart posture is there and, you know, the desire is there.
Amber Beels:Yeah. Awesome.
Michael Prestonise:Well, thank you, Amber. It's been a privilege to sit and talk to you and your audience. I hope, I pray, that people listening will say, that's interesting. I picked up something today. Or like I used to say to our kids when we sit around the dinner table, husband, wife, and children, I said, are lot of things you will be taught at this table.
Michael Prestonise:However, there will be a lot of things that will be caught at this table. Mhmm. You'll be hearing mom and dad talk, and you'll get some kind of reference to something, or maybe a political thing, or maybe a faith thing, or maybe a money thing, or whatever. And you'll catch that. So, yeah.
Michael Prestonise:I think this is really good. Thank you for being obedient to what the spirit of God put on your heart to do. And this is what? Our forty fifth? Your forty fifth podcast?
Amber Beels:Yeah. 45. So we're getting close to that 52 mark.
Michael Prestonise:Praise be to God, everyone.
Amber Beels:Yeah. Yeah. Alright, guys. Well, I hope that you found this message just edifying. I hope that you got some golden nuggets, something that you can apply in your own life.
Amber Beels:Remember to include the holy spirit in every situation of your life, whether it's conflict or in, you know, the happy seasons of your life. Sometimes it can be easy when everything is going right to just be like, okay, and then not include the Holy Spirit. But he's the one that brings those seasons, whether they're blessings or trials or conflict, whatever it is, he's there for every moment of it. So don't forget to include him. And when you're in those seasons of highs, remember to show gratitude and always bring it back to him, and he will continue to bless you.
Amber Beels:So, again, if you found this episode helpful, please share it with somebody. Please leave a review. That's how we grow this podcast. That's how we reach the people of the world. So that would be very, very helpful, and I would really appreciate it.
Amber Beels:So I hope you guys have a great week, and I'll see you next week.
